Monday, December 23, 2013

The longest wait.....

It's Day 6 of my wait for travel approval and this last stretch is definitely the hardest.  Even knowing that once I get my TA it could be weeks and weeks before I go isn't as hard as knowing I could have weeks more of waiting for this.

Once it arrives I can plan, and organize, and make lists.  I can count down the days until he will be in my arms.  I will KNOW when I am leaving.  I will be able to answer the question "so when are you going to bring Jonah home".  

I've been asked that for 10 months.

And for 10 months I've said "I don't know"

But, boy oh boy do I want to KNOW!

Until that day comes I am trying to remind myself to enjoy this time.  Enjoy sleeping in, and naps, and quiet time.....

.....and also checking my email 27,000,000 times a day

In the meantime, if you are still interested, I am still accepting donations on Jonah's behalf.  All money donated will be used directly to cover the cost of the adoption fees that still need to be paid once I am in a China.

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers during this process.  I cannot wait to introduce Jonah to you all!!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

An Update

It's been awhile since I updated everyone and it hasn't been from lack of activity.  Since my last post I have had my i800 processes through immigration, received my all important GUZ number from the National Visa Center and had all of Jonah's visa papers dropped off at the US Consulate in Guangzhou (article 5)

While I know that waiting for my Article 5 paperwork to be picked  up and sent to Beijing takes 2 weeks (at the very LEAST), I have spent the past ten days obsessively checking my email and plotting out possible travel dates.

It has not been good for my mental health.

Or for my friends and family (sorry friends and family)

It would seem that each new step takes exponentially longer than the last (even though each step has gotten faster and faster).  

The process of getting my dossier ready for China took 8 months which is an unusually long time.  In retrospect the past ten days began someone around the dawn of time.

But it am closer! So very much closer.  

Once my Article 5 gets picked up I wait for Travel Approval which can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks (recent, super short, travel approvals have come through in the past week which make me alternately ecstatic  and terrified).  Esctatic because I can't wait it bring my boy home, and terrified because HOLY COW I AM GOING TO BE WHOLLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

After Travel Approval arrives I will be given my consulate appointment date and, most importantly, my GOTTCHA DAY!!!!

The timing of this is very up in the air.  There are a lot of holidays between now and the end of January which could push travel back into February or (gulp) even March.  I honestly have no idea when I will go.  I know that the timing will be perfect.  I know that the later I go the less time I will have back at work before summer.  I know that there are tons of other people in my same boat, waiting for those few available days on January to bring their babies home.  I know he is healthy, and happy, and loved where he is.  

But mostly I know that he is MY son and that I want him home!  (I mean look at that smile...can you even, just ahhhh!)


In the meantime, if you are still interested, I am still accepting donations on Jonah's behalf.  All money donated will be used directly to cover the cost of the adoption fees that still need to be paid once I am in a China.

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers during this process.  I cannot wait to introduce Jonah to you all!!


(P.S. If any of you have the skills to photoshop a T-Rex into the background of that picture it would totally kick ass!)

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Because You've Asked

After waiting for 50 grueling days I got the news that my paperwork has been approved in China!!  Once I receive a hard copy of my Letter of Approval I will begin the next set of paperwork.  The next few steps happen in a bit of a flurry but the long and the short of it is that I should travel in the next 8-12 weeks.  Of course, I'm hoping for sooner rather than later!

This journey has not been an easy one, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I definitely don't think that it is a concidence that I will likely travel around Christmas time.  You see, for the longest time (over 3 years) I always imagined that I would be bringing home an infant girl.  I imagined her, dreamed of her, heck I even decorated a bedroom for her.  And every week I would pray in church for my daughter to come  home to me.  For those of you who have seen Jonah's picture...clearly there was a different plan for me!

Last August I prayed the same prayer I had prayed countless times..."Lord please bring me daughter home to me".  Only on that August day I heard a distinct reply.  "You know I had a son". To say I was shocked is an understatement and so I ignored it (I'm only human after all).  For months I ignored that voice.  For months I continued to pray for a daughter only to hear that same reply: "You know, I had a son".

Week after week.

Prayer after prayer.

Until I finally took the hint, and wouldn't you know it.  Almost as soon as I made the decision to switch, I found my boy.  And his birthday was in August.....

So here I am, so close to bringing him home that I regularly veer from overwhelming excitement to complete panic (there is so much left to do).  But I am ready for this, ready for him, ready for my son.

People ask me all the time about the money side of adoption (don't worry, it doesn't offend me).  Adoption is expensive.  Wicked expensive.  And I've worked extra jobs, and saved all I could, and held fund raisers and garage sales. And I have been BLESSED.  Since I started in February I have paid over 10,000 toward this adoption outright without having to charge anything.   I was also hugely blessed by a interest free loan through Lifesong for Orphans.  With all of that work, and all of those blessings I still have a ways to go before I can fully fund this adoption.  Part of my partnership with Lifesong includes an account that they have set up in my name to accept donations on my behalf.  I am looking at about $8,000 more to finish covering my adoption costs and $8,000 is a lot of money!  It is my hope that I raise and save enough by November 30th (just in case I get to leave on the earlier side of my timeline)!

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Any and all donations would be gladly appreciated.  But even more than the donations I ask for your prayers in the coming weeks.  Prayers that paperwork will be processed quickly.  Prayers for safe travel.  Prayers for my patience during this time of waiting.  And mostly. prayers for Jonah.  He is about to experience the biggest change of his two year old life and I pray that he transitions home with acceptance and love and the assurance that he will be loved and cared for by a mom who already loves him more that she could have ever imagined.

Thank you

Jesse

Monday, August 19, 2013

Yeah!! (So now what)

At 10:20 this morning I got the following text from my Assistant Principal

"I just saw the FedEx truck heading into the subdivision"

You see, she knew I was waiting on my last piece of paper for my dossier and her office happens to have a view of the road leading to my house.  (Side note: this is how you know you work in the best school ever)!

By 10:50 I was at the bank picking up the cashiers checks I needed to send in with my dossier and by 11:30 I was at my local Quik Pack and Ship.

When I walked in the door I was greeted by this message from the man behind the counter

"Wow, that package just got to your house this morning, you are quick" (side note, this is how you know your local store is better than any big box store)

So now it's in the mail.  I felt, all at once, a sense of relief and terror at the moment I handed it over.  For a few iffy moments I thought I was on the verge of either passing out cold, or hugging a stranger and crying into his flannel shirt.

I held it together.

(Winning)

So now the big question is what's next?   When do you go get him?

And the short answer is still "I don't know".  There are lots of steps between now and my traveling.  So here's what I'm waiting for, and what I'd welcome prayers for.

My dossier now has to go to China where I wait for it to be logged in, translated, reviewed, and approved.  When all that happens I will get a Letter of Approval (LOA).  Right now this can take anywhere from 30 to 150 days to receive.

Once I receive LOA, I can request updates!

At that point I will file more paperwork with immigration.

Once that is done and in China I wait for my travel approval.

It seems that the average time between submitting dossiers is anywhere for 4-8 months, but it can always be longer (or shorter).

I am praying for a January travel date and for all paperwork to go smoothly.

So that's where I am.

1 step closer, and a million miles away.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Happy Birthday

Tomorrow is my boy's birthday. 

He will be 2 years old.

That means he's spent 730 days without a family. 

It sucks.

A lot.

And I considered spending tomorrow wallowing in self pity (it involved eating copious amounts of cake and ice cream). 

Like I priced ice cream cakes (killing two birds with one stone...like a BOSS).

But then I remembered how much I dislike whiners, and "poor me's" and debbie downers.

So I decided that tomorrow would be different.  Tomorrow I would celebrate adoption, because it is the miracle that will make me a mom.

My first step was to text my friend Jennifer.  Her family is in the process of bringing Jonah's future best buddy home from Ethiopia.  They are incredibly fortunate to get weekly updates of their boy.  Since I can't request updates from China yet, I requested (or demanded...whatever) that Jennifer send me her newest picture tomorrow.  Seeing another little boy who is getting ready to come home will make this mamas heart smile.

Step two will involve a very large group of friends gathering at the airport tomorrow evening to welcome Chloe (and her very tired parents) home from China.  Chloe's journey to her forever family has been a very long and difficult one, and I imagine a sea of happy tears when we finally seem them step through those security gates.

Step three is to make a donation to my sister who just joined Team Teresa for the Disney Princess Half Marathon weekend (for the record, she is running a 5K, while I will be running around after a 2 year old and a 7 year old...hopefully). 

Step four is prayer, lots of prayer.  Prayers of thanks for all of the blessings adoption has brought into my life.  Prayers for safe travels.  Prayers for orphans still waiting for their forever family, and for the forever familes who are waiting to bring them home.  And then I will pray, with all my heart, that next year I will get to spend Jonah's birthday with him snuggled up beside me.

And with cake, lots and lots of cake.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Numbers

There is one piece of paper that I am still waiting on before my dossier is complete.

One

ONE

There is absolutely nothing I can do but wait.  There is no one I can call to harass.  No way to track the paper.  No real way of knowing when it will arrive other than the knowledge that it is averaging between 4-6 weeks for a response....although rumor has it that it is taking even longer.

In the interim I am spending most of my time obsessing about the mail.  When will it get here? Will the paper be delivered today? Should I check? Should I check again?  Should I sit in the driveway and wait?  Should I check again. Even though I looked 20 minutes ago and there has been zero activity on the street since then. (By the way, the answer is yes, of course I should check again).

Fun right?

When I'm not obsessing over the mail I obsess about the calendar, which is even more awesome.  My inner monologue goes something like this...

If the paper gets here today do I have enough time to get it Notarized, Certified, and drive to Atlanta by 4:30?

If YES, then can I make it back home in time to overnight it to the consulate in Texas by A?

If NO, then it won't get to Texas until B.

If it gets to Texas by A, then I should have it back by C.  If it gets to Texas by B then I should have it back by D.

If I get it back by C then it can be overnighted to my agency by E, but if I don't get it until D then it will be at the agency by F.

My agency only sends to China on Friday so depending on what day of the week E or F lands on it will either go THIS Friday or THAT Friday.

If it goes to China on THIS Friday then I might get a LID of G, but if it goes to China on THAT Friday then my LID might be H.

If my LID is G then my LOA could be J, but if my LID is H then my LOA could be K.

If my LOA is J then...

And it goes on.  Through every step and paper and average wait time all the way through my imagined Gotcha Day.

And then I check the mail (again) and the paper is not there and I start counting again.

And even though I know that each day the paper doesn't arrive only pushes me back 1 day (or 2 if its the weekend) I start over.

EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

It is exhausting.  Mentally, emotionally, just exhausting . But when I try to sleep at night I just can't.  I read until I can't keep my eyes open, I play games on the ipad, I watch way too much TV.  I stay up until I am certain that I will immediately fall into a deep and dreamless sleep.

But my head hits the pillow

My mind starts racing

I start counting

How many days since I first saw his picture?

How many days until I get to hold him?

How many days until his birthday?

How long will I have him home before he has lived with me longer than he lived in the orphanage?

How many...

How many...

How many...

Logically I know that it will happen.  Financially I know that each day and month I wait is another month to save money.  Faithfully I know that He has a plan for me.

But math is hard.

And I'm tired of counting.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Choices

I generally get one of two reactions when I tell people that I am adopting.

Reaction One usually involves smiles, congrats, and (in many cases) squealing and wiping away happy tears when I show off Jonah's picture (my boy is cute y'all).

Reaction Two is often a quick glance at my ring finger to see if I'm married.  A slight pause.  And then (usually) the appropriate smiles, congrats, and squeals of excitement.

But then there was yesterday. Yesterday I got a reaction I've never had before.  It went a little something like this...

Other Person:  "Is there anything new happening in your life?"

Me:  "Yes, actually, I'm adopting a little boy from China."

Other Person:  searching for a wedding ring that isn't there and asking:  "Are you married"

Me:  "No"

Other Person:  "What's wrong with you"

(end scene)

My initial reaction was stunned silence, and I really, really wanted to say something obnoxious, and sarcastic, and just plain mean, back to this other person, what I said was "I don't know". 

Then I went home and imagined exactly what I would have said if I had a little bit more chutzpah and a little less class.

But seriously, this motherhood, this single motherhood, is something that I am choosing.  It's not a second thought, not a reaction to a biological clock, not a desperate cry for attention, and not a result of a relationship that didn't work out.  I'm not wearing rose-tinted glasses.  I don't imagine that it's going to be easy.  But it is a choice. A good choice.  My choice. 

Being a mother is the only thing that I ever knew for sure that I wanted.  Growing up I didn't know what kind of job I wanted (still don't for that matter).  I didn't know where I wanted to live.  I didn't know what type of car I wanted to drive or what type of house I wanted to live in.  What I did know, with absolute certainty, is that I wanted to be a mom.

That I was born to be a mom.

That I was going to be a kick-ass mom.

And no, I'm not married.  And yes, lots of people think that's a bad thing.  But I'm okay with that.  And I'm okay with letting others think that.  Because I'm about to make all of my dreams come true. 

And as for you, Other Person.  Well, you can suck it. 

(what can I say, class is overrated)


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Ipad Mini Raffle

My big fundraiser for my adoption is a raffle.  I have a brand new ipad mini to raffle off to one lucky winner. I am hoping to raise a total of $8,000 through this raffle, a number which can absolutely be reached! 

Tickets are $10 each or 3 for $25.  You can purchase through paypal by clicking the donate button on the right. I also have tickets I can mail out, or deliver in person, if you prefer to do things the old fashioned way!

For those of you wondering how you can help, here's your chance, I have packets of tickets for anyone interested in helping to sell. 

The drawing for the Ipad will be on June 2nd at my church and you do not have to be present to win.  I will deliver the ipad, or get it in the mail, to the winner on June 3rd. 

I am so excited about this journey to motherhood and hope you will consider buying a ticket.

Thanks so much!

Jesse (and Jonah)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Fundraising

The idea of fundraising for an adoption can be a controversial topic.  There are people who love it, people who hate it, and both groups are liable to give their opinion whether you want to hear it or not.

People who hate it argue that adopting is the same as giving birth and you don't see any pregnant woman out there fundraising for their impending delivery.  Some people think that the idea of fundraising is in poor taste and that you shouldn't even be thinking about adopting if you can't afford it, and anyway you should just work for it you lazy bastard (okay that last part might be a bit off)

But the truth of the matter is that adoption is not the same as giving birth.  And, aside from a few lucky individuals who have the means to pay for adoptions outright (I'm looking at you Brangelina), the average family does have to scrimp and save and apply for loans or grants, and fund raise, to make their adoption dreams come true.

Not having given birth myself I can't be sure, but I am fairly certain that the average pregnant woman doesn't have to walk into the delivery room with thousands of dollars in cash (new bills only please) to pass out to each person assisting in the birth.  Likewise, the average pregnant woman doesn't have to pay for flights, and hotels, and travel expenses to the hospital.  There are no immigration papers to file, fingerprints to be had (over, and over, and over), no translation fees, no courier fees, no agency, fees.  

Adoption is just expensive.  Stinking expensive.

I am a public school teacher, a profession not known for large salaries (I do it for the kids y'all...also, summer vacation).  I also work a part time job, have picked up two different summer teaching positions, have painted rooms, watched dogs, and picked up people's mail when they are out of town.  I am not afraid to work, and work hard to make money.  But all that still isn't enough.  As such I have been, and will be fundraising for my adoption.  Not because I want a free handout, not because I don't want to work hard, but because that's what I have to do to bring my son home.

Because I'm a mom.  And there is nothing I wouldn't do for that little boy.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Up and Down

The past few weeks have been filled with such a wave of emotions that I feel kind of like I'm riding an insane roller coaster that is simultaneously shoving joy and fear down my throat and I just have to hang on and try not to vomit.  It's like the adoption equivalent of gestational diabetes.  You know it will stop when you get to bring your child home, but are stuck dealing with it in the mean time.  And every adoptive parent I know has felt this so it's not a unique experience, just a new one.  I feel like I go from zero to SUPER emotional in less then 60 seconds.

I got PA  (happy happy day)

Home study trucking along (Woohoo! Life is great!)


FBI prints still not here  (WTH)

Home study not quite finished (annoyed, annoyed, annoyed)

Home study can be finished this week  (Woohoo! What was I thinking?  Life is amazing!)

Prints still not here (depths of despair)

And I know it will go on, and on, and on right up until Gotcha Day and there is NOTHING I can do about it. In fact, it is only going to get worse.  As a control freak I find this disconcerting.  As someone who loves my friends and family I'd like to apologize in advance for any wild mood swings  that occur over the next 7-9 months.  I'd over compensate for it with comfort food but I have to fit comfortably into an airplane seat in the Fall so please feel free to tell me to go away until then.

There is a lot of fear that goes along with adopting.  I worry about paperwork getting lost. I worry about attachment (a LOT).  I worry about money.  I worry about getting everything done in time.  I worry about money.  I worry about how he will react on Gotcha day.  I worry that he will freak out and I won't be able to comfort him (which is a real possibility).  I worry about money.  I worry about what his room should look like.  I worry about bringing him clothes that fit (like he'll care).  I worry about natural disasters or Avian Flu delaying the process. I worry about whether or not he will like me.  I worry about accidentally drinking unboiled water during travel and having to use a squatty potty.  And I worry about money.

That's a lot to worry about. 

It's exhausting.

So when it gets to be too much.  I step away.  I watch a 2 minute video of my little guy running and bouncing and smiling and laughing.  And I remember to breathe. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

To China With Love

The journey to adoption is never an easy one and mine has been longer, and more complicated, than some. I started about three years ago when I was sure that I was destined to adopt internationally.  I looked at multiple country programs and nearly followed through with one, but I always had reservations.  Some small part of me that was unsure of my decision.  I finally decided that my hesitation came from my program of choice.  After all, my desire to be a mother has never wavered, but I often pictured myself with an infant and in the international adoption world infant placements are not common.  Added to that the fact that I would be adopting as a single mother,  I was pretty much guaranteed to adopt an older child.

Knowing all of that I decided to enter the world of Domestic adoption.  I completed all the paperwork  and made my profile book and sent it all of in hopes that a birth mother would see it and pick me....

No one ever did.  It sucked.  A lot.  And every time my profile was shown I would tell myself not to get my hopes up (but I did), and not to think about the child (but I did), and not to dream about the child (but I did).

And every time I was rejected I told myself not to take it personally....but I did.  Oh, I did.  And I would begin to analyze every picture and word in my profile.  And my self-esteem, well it took a flying leap off of the Empire State Building and smeared itself all over the intersection of 5th Avenue and 34th Street.  Because those profiles are personal, very, very personal so rejecting it meant rejecting me.  There was something they saw in it that made them say no.  Was it my clothes, or weight, or hair, or house?  I don't know but for two years I watched friends have children and I still didnt and so I was finished.  I have this theory that the female psyche can only handle a finite amount of rejection over the course of a lifetime and I had reached mine.

But then my niece turned six, which is significant only in that it opened the doors to China for me as a single woman.  And my thoughts turned to Chinese orphanages and little kids with my nieces dark hair and almond eyes.  But I didn't say anything.  To anyone.  For months.  Until the beginning of a New Year, and I felt ready to start a new journey.  So I started back down the paperwork trail.  I started looking for grants to apply for and fundraisers to start.

And I started looking at files.  Files of little boys with special needs that didn't seem all that special to me.  And one Tuesday night, at 11:30pm, my sister texted me from her bedroom downstairs to tell me there were new kids on my agencys list.  And just like that.  With the click of a button and a few taps on the ipad I fell straight into the eyes of this boy.



And suddenly it all seemed worth it.