My paper chase has been slogging along for the past several months and yes, slogging, is the best word I can think of. It has been frustrating, and depressing, and aggravating, and just plain annoying. What it hasn’t been is anyone’s fault.
First my FBI prints had to be redone (prints which, by the way, I need to finish my home study so I can complete the next step and go get fingerprinted…by the FBI!!)
Then I misread a paper and needed to get more state clearances for my sister and I.
Her clearance had to come from Boston….the week of the bombing
Then the person who checks home studies at my agency was in China…during an earthquake
When it got the okay and was sent back to the home study agency the person there was on vacation.
Then the post office lost my check.
One hit after another. And as for me? Well I didn’t handle it well. I got mad, and grumpy, and depressed. And I wanted to yell at someone, or cry, or maybe yell at someone while I cry. Not that any of it would help. And I started counting the weeks and months of waiting I have ahead of me. My dreams of having him home by Thanksgiving, turned into dreaming of Christmas, and now, well now I hope he’s here by my birthday in March.
And I realized one morning that those extra months mean I have more time to tackle my biggest worry…money. More time to work and scrimp and save and continue to do anything (legal) for money. That my two biggest prayers is that he is safe and loved, and that I am able to figure out the money side of this adoption.
I’m not saying that I’m over the moon excited that things are delayed, but a good friend reminded me recently that my boy is just living his life, he has no idea who I am, and he doesn’t share my worries. He is just happy (this I am sure off, as the kind of joy he showed in his video simply can’t be faked). So while I might worry and cry and get grumpy (I apologize in advance for mood at Christmas this year) I have been given a chance to save more. A blaring reminder that prayers are not always answered in the way we expect them, but they are answered. So I will continue to work. And fund raise. And scrimp, and save. And my boy will come home when he is meant to come home.
In the meantime, my papers are moving forward. I have all but one item (the long awaited I800A) that I need to complete the dossier. Everything else is currently being certified and authenticated so that when the I800 comes through I will be ready. China gave me a deadline of August 21st to have my completed dossier submitted and, with my luck it will be there on August 20th at 11:59 pm…but it will get there. I am hanging my hopes on that.