Wednesday, May 1, 2013


I generally get one of two reactions when I tell people that I am adopting.

Reaction One usually involves smiles, congrats, and (in many cases) squealing and wiping away happy tears when I show off Jonah's picture (my boy is cute y'all).

Reaction Two is often a quick glance at my ring finger to see if I'm married.  A slight pause.  And then (usually) the appropriate smiles, congrats, and squeals of excitement.

But then there was yesterday. Yesterday I got a reaction I've never had before.  It went a little something like this...

Other Person:  "Is there anything new happening in your life?"

Me:  "Yes, actually, I'm adopting a little boy from China."

Other Person:  searching for a wedding ring that isn't there and asking:  "Are you married"

Me:  "No"

Other Person:  "What's wrong with you"

(end scene)

My initial reaction was stunned silence, and I really, really wanted to say something obnoxious, and sarcastic, and just plain mean, back to this other person, what I said was "I don't know". 

Then I went home and imagined exactly what I would have said if I had a little bit more chutzpah and a little less class.

But seriously, this motherhood, this single motherhood, is something that I am choosing.  It's not a second thought, not a reaction to a biological clock, not a desperate cry for attention, and not a result of a relationship that didn't work out.  I'm not wearing rose-tinted glasses.  I don't imagine that it's going to be easy.  But it is a choice. A good choice.  My choice. 

Being a mother is the only thing that I ever knew for sure that I wanted.  Growing up I didn't know what kind of job I wanted (still don't for that matter).  I didn't know where I wanted to live.  I didn't know what type of car I wanted to drive or what type of house I wanted to live in.  What I did know, with absolute certainty, is that I wanted to be a mom.

That I was born to be a mom.

That I was going to be a kick-ass mom.

And no, I'm not married.  And yes, lots of people think that's a bad thing.  But I'm okay with that.  And I'm okay with letting others think that.  Because I'm about to make all of my dreams come true. 

And as for you, Other Person.  Well, you can suck it. 

(what can I say, class is overrated)

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