I had a dream last night that Jack Donaghy gave me
11 MILLION DOLLARS
It was for unspecified reasons (although I’m sure it was all completely aboveboard and not at all shady). He gave it to me in increments of 50,000 cash, enclosed in 99 cent pencil cases from Target (okay that part was kind of shady). Clearly one of two things must be true.
Thing 1: I am about to receive a gift of 11 million dollars from the fictional head of GE television and microwave programming
Thing 2: I watch entirely too much television
I’m going to go with Thing 1 because in that scenario I also get to meet Tina Fey (also, I'd have 11 MILLION DOLLARS). I’ve totally been practicing how to act so I don’t just try to smell and hug her like when Liz Lemon met Oprah (“Liz Leeeemmmmmooooooonnnnnnnn”). In my head I mostly just laugh like a lunatic at everything she says. It's weird how even in my head I act like an idiot around famous people.
Did I mention that I might watch too much television?
In other news, it’s been over a week since I’ve seen either Mad-Eye Moody or Lolita, so they have either been foiled in their attempt to eat our cat food by our cleverness (aka moving the chair so they can’t get on the table), or they are off making a slew of tiny, ugly babies. And I swear to you if they roll up in a multicolored bus singing Come On Get Happy I am moving...somewhere (without opossums)