There are things that every teacher does that school could never, ever prepare you for. The rude children, the overwhelming amount of paperwork, the insanity of middle schoolers in the week before vacation to name a few. And then there are those things that are so outrageous that they enter the world of myth, they become the stories that we sit around telling each other when things get to stressful. Every teacher has a few, and I have more than my share:
M and the Celery
Anything involving my evil genius
and many more....
Some stories are hilarious, some are sad, some make me remember why the heck I do this job, and some make me question my career choice. For example: there was one year when my sister (hope you don't mind Noelle), became the Patron Saint of Menstruation. No seriously, for some reason every 6th grade girl experiencing that special moment came and told my sister. The conversation generally went like this:
Student: "Ms. K, I have to tell you something"
Student: "I got my period"
Noelle: "Do you need to go to the nurse?"
Noelle: "Do you have everything you need?"
Noelle: "Do you have any questions?"
Noelle: "okay, go to class"
This happened, a LOT, and not always by students she knew well. It was weird
I can't tell you the number of times that I've had to explain the importance of showering and deodorant. And you can't even being to imagine what an awkward conversation is until you've had to call a parent to tell them that their child has been habitually masturbating in your class. Double the awkwardness when the student is a girl. Triple the awkwardness when the parent then asks you to speak to the kid about it....they most definitely don't pay me enough for that.
But they do make excellent stories!