Dignity and Grace

There have been moments in my life when I have handled events with both dignity and grace...Today was not one of those days.

Let me set the scene for you.

It all started at 6:12am when I woke up to an email that I had received my consulate appointment in China as well as my "gottcha day" date. This was followed by much texting and quiet celebrating since I didn't want to wake the rest of the house.  And then to work where many a celebratory woohoo and hug occurred.  Students were on a 2 hour delay due to the extreme cold (12 degrees Georgia...this is not ok). Someone brought me Starbucks (thanks Hallie), many kids were absent, and it was a generally pleasant day.

Fast forward to 2:55 when my dad calls and says that I may want to stop by the house because they just had pipes burst at the church and my sister mentioned a frozen pipe this morning.  So I stroll to my room, grab my things and drive home.  

What I walked into was nearly indescribable.  Water was pouring out of the attic with such force that I could have easily shampooed and fully rinsed my hair under it.  The carpets were so wet they had turned an entire different color and the water in the kitchen was at least an inch and a half deep. My poor tiny dogs were soaking wet (what with being trapped in a flooded and freezing kitchen and all).  I found myself incapable of rational thought so I did what I always do in times like these.

I called my daddy.

No answer

I called again

No answer

I call the church where I blurt out "it's Jesse, is my dad there my house is flooded and I don't know what to do"

Luckily the secretary answered and got my dad who told me to turn off the water at the street and that he would be there ASAP.

I go to the street and wander back and for for a moment because I realize I have absolutely no clue what I'm looking for.

I call one of the teachers I work with but he had already left school.

My dad calls back and describes the water access panel and has the forthought to tell me to get some plyers.  I managed to get the metal plate up and plunged my hand into a hole full of icy water to try and find the knob....no luck

My dad calls again and suggests I call my cousin (who's new husband has a company with a plumbing department).  I make the call again and poor Liza tells me to turn off the water.  I'm sure my reply was something like "BUT I DONT KNOW HOW AND MY DAD ISNT HERE AND I NEED WILLIAM TO HELP ME". (This is where both dignity and grace start to leave me in droves) Liza calmly assures me that she will call William and I hang up.

And then I dropped my phone in the hole of icy water.

I DROPPED MY PHONE INTO THE WATER

seriously?

From there things pretty much spiraled. I got the phone. But I couldn't remove the case on account of my frozen hands and the massive amounts of adrenaline that are by now coursing through my body.  Then I can't remember re which way to turn the valve (lefty loosey.....but do I want to loosen or tighten....ahhh).  Plus it was really hard to turn, but I did manage it right as my dad pulled up.  

And he found the leak.

And I cried a lot

And friends came over for moral support and to wet vac

And I cried a lot

And William called (bless him when he asked if I had called my home owners insurance ppl I replied "no William I've mostly just been crying").

And then I cried some more

But we got rid of a lot of water....but there is still a ton (the carpets still make a squishy noise when you walk on them)

And the only loss of property was a puzzle (sorry Aunt Barbara I owe you one).

Tomorrow begins the repairs and finding out what all needs to be replaced.

Silver lining I will hopefully be in China for most of the repair work.

And I'm thankful for my family and friends who, even when I lose my dignity and grace, still love me and can still make me laugh (yes I know if spent 16 hours shampooing the carpets last week friends, the irony isn't lost on me.)

It's been quite a day but I keep reminding myself that I will have Jonah in my arms in 13 days and that makes the massive flood seem not all that bad!

                     (My kitchen floor is not that shiny....that's water people)

The longest wait.....

It's Day 6 of my wait for travel approval and this last stretch is definitely the hardest.  Even knowing that once I get my TA it could be weeks and weeks before I go isn't as hard as knowing I could have weeks more of waiting for this.

Once it arrives I can plan, and organize, and make lists.  I can count down the days until he will be in my arms.  I will KNOW when I am leaving.  I will be able to answer the question "so when are you going to bring Jonah home".  

I've been asked that for 10 months.

And for 10 months I've said "I don't know"

But, boy oh boy do I want to KNOW!

Until that day comes I am trying to remind myself to enjoy this time.  Enjoy sleeping in, and naps, and quiet time.....

.....and also checking my email 27,000,000 times a day

In the meantime, if you are still interested, I am still accepting donations on Jonah's behalf.  All money donated will be used directly to cover the cost of the adoption fees that still need to be paid once I am in a China.

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers during this process.  I cannot wait to introduce Jonah to you all!!

An Update

It's been awhile since I updated everyone and it hasn't been from lack of activity.  Since my last post I have had my i800 processes through immigration, received my all important GUZ number from the National Visa Center and had all of Jonah's visa papers dropped off at the US Consulate in Guangzhou (article 5)

While I know that waiting for my Article 5 paperwork to be picked  up and sent to Beijing takes 2 weeks (at the very LEAST), I have spent the past ten days obsessively checking my email and plotting out possible travel dates.

It has not been good for my mental health.

Or for my friends and family (sorry friends and family)

It would seem that each new step takes exponentially longer than the last (even though each step has gotten faster and faster).  

The process of getting my dossier ready for China took 8 months which is an unusually long time.  In retrospect the past ten days began someone around the dawn of time.

But it am closer! So very much closer.  

Once my Article 5 gets picked up I wait for Travel Approval which can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks (recent, super short, travel approvals have come through in the past week which make me alternately ecstatic  and terrified).  Esctatic because I can't wait it bring my boy home, and terrified because HOLY COW I AM GOING TO BE WHOLLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

After Travel Approval arrives I will be given my consulate appointment date and, most importantly, my GOTTCHA DAY!!!!

The timing of this is very up in the air.  There are a lot of holidays between now and the end of January which could push travel back into February or (gulp) even March.  I honestly have no idea when I will go.  I know that the timing will be perfect.  I know that the later I go the less time I will have back at work before summer.  I know that there are tons of other people in my same boat, waiting for those few available days on January to bring their babies home.  I know he is healthy, and happy, and loved where he is.  

But mostly I know that he is MY son and that I want him home!  (I mean look at that smile...can you even, just ahhhh!)

In the meantime, if you are still interested, I am still accepting donations on Jonah's behalf.  All money donated will be used directly to cover the cost of the adoption fees that still need to be paid once I am in a China.

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers during this process.  I cannot wait to introduce Jonah to you all!!

(P.S. If any of you have the skills to photoshop a T-Rex into the background of that picture it would totally kick ass!)

Because You've Asked

After waiting for 50 grueling days I got the news that my paperwork has been approved in China!!  Once I receive a hard copy of my Letter of Approval I will begin the next set of paperwork.  The next few steps happen in a bit of a flurry but the long and the short of it is that I should travel in the next 8-12 weeks.  Of course, I'm hoping for sooner rather than later!

This journey has not been an easy one, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I definitely don't think that it is a concidence that I will likely travel around Christmas time.  You see, for the longest time (over 3 years) I always imagined that I would be bringing home an infant girl.  I imagined her, dreamed of her, heck I even decorated a bedroom for her.  And every week I would pray in church for my daughter to come  home to me.  For those of you who have seen Jonah's picture...clearly there was a different plan for me!

Last August I prayed the same prayer I had prayed countless times..."Lord please bring me daughter home to me".  Only on that August day I heard a distinct reply.  "You know I had a son". To say I was shocked is an understatement and so I ignored it (I'm only human after all).  For months I ignored that voice.  For months I continued to pray for a daughter only to hear that same reply: "You know, I had a son".

Week after week.

Prayer after prayer.

Until I finally took the hint, and wouldn't you know it.  Almost as soon as I made the decision to switch, I found my boy.  And his birthday was in August.....

So here I am, so close to bringing him home that I regularly veer from overwhelming excitement to complete panic (there is so much left to do).  But I am ready for this, ready for him, ready for my son.

People ask me all the time about the money side of adoption (don't worry, it doesn't offend me).  Adoption is expensive.  Wicked expensive.  And I've worked extra jobs, and saved all I could, and held fund raisers and garage sales. And I have been BLESSED.  Since I started in February I have paid over 10,000 toward this adoption outright without having to charge anything.   I was also hugely blessed by a interest free loan through Lifesong for Orphans.  With all of that work, and all of those blessings I still have a ways to go before I can fully fund this adoption.  Part of my partnership with Lifesong includes an account that they have set up in my name to accept donations on my behalf.  I am looking at about $8,000 more to finish covering my adoption costs and $8,000 is a lot of money!  It is my hope that I raise and save enough by November 30th (just in case I get to leave on the earlier side of my timeline)!

Donations can be mailed directly to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.  Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fundraising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners).  That means that 100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.   Checks can be made out to Lifesong for Orphans (Note: Please include Keener #3881 on the memo line).

Donations are also accepted online at www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/.  Select "Give to an adoptive family".  Complete the online form and fill in "Family Account  Number" (3881) and "Family Name" (Keener) fields.  Note: PayPal charges an administrative fee (2.9% + $0.30 USD per transaction).  Your donation will be decreased by the amount of this fee.

All donations are tax deductible.  Following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor's suggested use.  Individual donations of $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt.  Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.  

Any and all donations would be gladly appreciated.  But even more than the donations I ask for your prayers in the coming weeks.  Prayers that paperwork will be processed quickly.  Prayers for safe travel.  Prayers for my patience during this time of waiting.  And mostly. prayers for Jonah.  He is about to experience the biggest change of his two year old life and I pray that he transitions home with acceptance and love and the assurance that he will be loved and cared for by a mom who already loves him more that she could have ever imagined.

Thank you

Jesse

Yeah!! (So now what)

At 10:20 this morning I got the following text from my Assistant Principal

"I just saw the FedEx truck heading into the subdivision"

You see, she knew I was waiting on my last piece of paper for my dossier and her office happens to have a view of the road leading to my house.  (Side note: this is how you know you work in the best school ever)!

By 10:50 I was at the bank picking up the cashiers checks I needed to send in with my dossier and by 11:30 I was at my local Quik Pack and Ship.

When I walked in the door I was greeted by this message from the man behind the counter

"Wow, that package just got to your house this morning, you are quick" (side note, this is how you know your local store is better than any big box store)

So now it's in the mail.  I felt, all at once, a sense of relief and terror at the moment I handed it over.  For a few iffy moments I thought I was on the verge of either passing out cold, or hugging a stranger and crying into his flannel shirt.

I held it together.

(Winning)

So now the big question is what's next?   When do you go get him?

And the short answer is still "I don't know".  There are lots of steps between now and my traveling.  So here's what I'm waiting for, and what I'd welcome prayers for.

My dossier now has to go to China where I wait for it to be logged in, translated, reviewed, and approved.  When all that happens I will get a Letter of Approval (LOA).  Right now this can take anywhere from 30 to 150 days to receive.

Once I receive LOA, I can request updates!

At that point I will file more paperwork with immigration.

Once that is done and in China I wait for my travel approval.

It seems that the average time between submitting dossiers is anywhere for 4-8 months, but it can always be longer (or shorter).

I am praying for a January travel date and for all paperwork to go smoothly.

So that's where I am.

1 step closer, and a million miles away.

Happy Birthday

Tomorrow is my boy's birthday. 

He will be 2 years old.

That means he's spent 730 days without a family. 

It sucks.

A lot.

And I considered spending tomorrow wallowing in self pity (it involved eating copious amounts of cake and ice cream). 

Like I priced ice cream cakes (killing two birds with one stone...like a BOSS).

But then I remembered how much I dislike whiners, and "poor me's" and debbie downers.

So I decided that tomorrow would be different.  Tomorrow I would celebrate adoption, because it is the miracle that will make me a mom.

My first step was to text my friend Jennifer.  Her family is in the process of bringing Jonah's future best buddy home from Ethiopia.  They are incredibly fortunate to get weekly updates of their boy.  Since I can't request updates from China yet, I requested (or demanded...whatever) that Jennifer send me her newest picture tomorrow.  Seeing another little boy who is getting ready to come home will make this mamas heart smile.

Step two will involve a very large group of friends gathering at the airport tomorrow evening to welcome Chloe (and her very tired parents) home from China.  Chloe's journey to her forever family has been a very long and difficult one, and I imagine a sea of happy tears when we finally seem them step through those security gates.

Step three is to make a donation to my sister who just joined Team Teresa for the Disney Princess Half Marathon weekend (for the record, she is running a 5K, while I will be running around after a 2 year old and a 7 year old...hopefully). 

Step four is prayer, lots of prayer.  Prayers of thanks for all of the blessings adoption has brought into my life.  Prayers for safe travels.  Prayers for orphans still waiting for their forever family, and for the forever familes who are waiting to bring them home.  And then I will pray, with all my heart, that next year I will get to spend Jonah's birthday with him snuggled up beside me.

And with cake, lots and lots of cake.

Numbers

There is one piece of paper that I am still waiting on before my dossier is complete.

One

ONE

There is absolutely nothing I can do but wait.  There is no one I can call to harass.  No way to track the paper.  No real way of knowing when it will arrive other than the knowledge that it is averaging between 4-6 weeks for a response....although rumor has it that it is taking even longer.

In the interim I am spending most of my time obsessing about the mail.  When will it get here? Will the paper be delivered today? Should I check? Should I check again?  Should I sit in the driveway and wait?  Should I check again. Even though I looked 20 minutes ago and there has been zero activity on the street since then. (By the way, the answer is yes, of course I should check again).

Fun right?

When I'm not obsessing over the mail I obsess about the calendar, which is even more awesome.  My inner monologue goes something like this...

If the paper gets here today do I have enough time to get it Notarized, Certified, and drive to Atlanta by 4:30?

If YES, then can I make it back home in time to overnight it to the consulate in Texas by A?

If NO, then it won't get to Texas until B.

If it gets to Texas by A, then I should have it back by C.  If it gets to Texas by B then I should have it back by D.

If I get it back by C then it can be overnighted to my agency by E, but if I don't get it until D then it will be at the agency by F.

My agency only sends to China on Friday so depending on what day of the week E or F lands on it will either go THIS Friday or THAT Friday.

If it goes to China on THIS Friday then I might get a LID of G, but if it goes to China on THAT Friday then my LID might be H.

If my LID is G then my LOA could be J, but if my LID is H then my LOA could be K.

If my LOA is J then...

And it goes on.  Through every step and paper and average wait time all the way through my imagined Gotcha Day.

And then I check the mail (again) and the paper is not there and I start counting again.

And even though I know that each day the paper doesn't arrive only pushes me back 1 day (or 2 if its the weekend) I start over.

EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

It is exhausting.  Mentally, emotionally, just exhausting . But when I try to sleep at night I just can't.  I read until I can't keep my eyes open, I play games on the ipad, I watch way too much TV.  I stay up until I am certain that I will immediately fall into a deep and dreamless sleep.

But my head hits the pillow

My mind starts racing

I start counting

How many days since I first saw his picture?

How many days until I get to hold him?

How many days until his birthday?

How long will I have him home before he has lived with me longer than he lived in the orphanage?

How many...

How many...

How many...

Logically I know that it will happen.  Financially I know that each day and month I wait is another month to save money.  Faithfully I know that He has a plan for me.

But math is hard.

And I'm tired of counting.